Controversial Issues
by TiannaMVA
Summary: COMPLETE! Alice, in light of discovering something about Edward on accident, and in instruction from an English teacher, tries to soothe his fears about being accepted by her. Once Shot. AU / AH. Located in Forks.
1. Chapter 1: Class Assignments

**Chapter 1: Class Assignments**

"Okay class," Mrs. Taylor said, picking through a thick leaflet of papers, "today, we are starting in on the essay portion of the semester." A chorus of groans in the English class full of juniors and seniors.

Mrs. Taylor chuckled slightly at the disgruntled students. "You are all going to write a two and a half page essay — NO BACKS!" she said sternly, glaring at some select students "— and it must be on a controversial topic of your choice. I will put up several papers up here on different topics with statistics and such on the board. You have an hour to write it, and you will present it either this class or next class. Any questions?"

One student raised her hand. "Yes, Alice?"

Alice cleared her throat. "Do we need statistics, or can it just be opinion oriented?"

Mrs. Taylor smiled. "Either or, Alice." She turned to the class. "Begin."

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	2. Chapter 2: Arguments

**Chapter 2: Arguments**

"Alice! You're up now," Mrs. Taylor called.

Alice stood up, papers in hand.

She was now in the front of the class. She cleared her throat nervously. She had three people before her, all from the different categories, like Global Warming, the stock markets plunge, and the first black president, Barack Obama. Her's… was on Gay Marriage. This was more of a personal matter than anything else.

Her half brother from her dodgy father's side, was Edward Masen. And he was gay with a certain Jacob Black, who Edward didn't think she knew about. She did know though, and she casted a simple wink in his direction.

He hadn't come out yet, only in his journal as of now (which she stole, not too long ago, searching for blackmail), and she intended to let him know she was perfectly fine with it.

Clearing her throat again, she began.

"This will be an opinionated essay on the prospects of Gay Marriage."

"**One** – Being gay is not natural." Alice paused, letting her words sink in. A few of the students looked disapprovingly at her, while others still looked a little surprised. "Good people always reject unnatural things, like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning."

She smiled then, because some of the students who had been scowling weren't anymore, and Edward looked interested instead of crushed with her statement.

"**Two** – Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall. I mean, Edward hangs out with the basketball and football teams, and we live in the same house. Its only natural I'm as tall as I am." She titled her head up in defiance, daring anyone to question her. She _was_ a proud and regal four-foot-ten-inches.

"**Three** – Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract. But then again, many people are already doing this, though behind closed doors or in Canada."

Smiling like she already won the battle, Alice continued, giving her brother a look that said, '_I _know_. No need to hide anymore_.'

"**Four **– Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal." A few of the students who were paying attention nodded in agreement with her words. Edward was slightly wide-eyed about it, his eyes glistening in that emerald green they bother had.

"**Five** – Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed," she pointed out, using one of the more recent developments in the ex-diva's life that had been found in the paper.

"**Six** – Straight marriages are valid because they produce children." A few people held their breathe, wondering how she would combat that. She appeared thoughtful for a moment. "Gay couples, infertile couples, and elder people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children."

"**Seven **– Obviously, gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children." Nobody could say anything about that. Nowadays, it seemed gay parents raise straighter kids than the straight families in their tiny town.

A few of the students were wondering when she would shut up, while the smarter ones, more current in their worlds, were wondering when she would meet some of the bigger issues.

"**Eight** – Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in countries like USA and France." The students in the debate term were gaping, wondering how she read their minds, and was turning their arguments against them, especially those against Gay Marriage.

"**Nine** – Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home." Alice, who hadn't stopped grinning her entire monologue, grinned wider. "That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children."

A few more students began whispering, wondering why the girl who never expressed any type of opinion unless it involved clothes, was seemingly happy about gay couples. Its no secret that there were quiet a few kids with single parents in Forks. More of the narrow minded students in their unusually large class were rapidly changing their thinking on the issue, thanks to the way she was presenting.

"And, last but not least, **Ten** – Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans." Alice giggled suddenly, breaking the spell she had weaved over her fellow classmates. "I mean, its not like we have _flying cars_ or anything remotely like that."

Still grinning like mad, Alice said in a clear voice, "Thank you for listening to my presentation." Giving a smile in Edward's direction (thank God that he sat in the middle of the cluster of desks), Alice made her way back to her seat.

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**So... what do you guys think? I got the inspiration from one of those charts that people copy and paste onto their profiles. :P**

**Review if you even like the thing!**

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	3. Profile C&P

**A/N: This is the actual copy and paste that shows up on profiles every now and then.**

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**Controversial Issues:**

**1)** Being gay is not natural. Good people always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.

**2)** Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

**3)** Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

**4)** Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

**5)** Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

**6)** Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

**7)** Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

**8)** Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in countries like USA and France.

**9)** Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

**10)** Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans...


End file.
